he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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