Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
