R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
love makes seman taste better
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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