Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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