The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
