ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
