You can't motorboat a personality
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
