Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
