why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize