Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
