My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
