how can u be prego again
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
