he told me I talked like a deaf person
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
