Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
