In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
