doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
