Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
