I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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