id be glad to
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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