i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
