So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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