there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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