Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So vagazzling was a success
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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