I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Let's get the cat blown out
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
