We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
