Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize