I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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