Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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