Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's get the cat blown out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
