So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You're like the curious george of whores
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
