I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
