Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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