I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
