I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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