well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
