Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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