Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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