Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
