I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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