yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize