So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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