ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
