Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
