my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
