So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
