ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
