Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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