U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
