she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
