you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
