Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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