I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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