How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
