I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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