I want to make a zoo with you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
