im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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