i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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