Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
