proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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