I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
