hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
