Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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