My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
